"Newlywed couple Ted and Tami-Lynn want to have a baby, but in order to qualify to be a parent, Ted will have to prove he's a person in a court of law."
Mark Wahlberg
as John
Seth MacFarlane
as Ted (voice)
Amanda Seyfried
as Samantha
Jessica Barth
as Tami-Lynn
Giovanni Ribisi
as Donny
Morgan Freeman
as Patrick Meighan
Sam J. Jones
as Sam J. Jones
Patrick Warburton
as Guy
Michael Dorn
as Rick
Bill Smitrovich
as Frank
John Slattery
as Shep Wild
Cocoa Brown
as Joy
John Carroll Lynch
as Tom Jessup
Ron Canada
as Judge
Liam Neeson
as Customer
Dennis Haysbert
as Fertility Doctor
Patrick Stewart
as Narrator (voice)
Tom Brady
as Tom Brady
Jay Leno
as Jay Leno
Jimmy Kimmel
as Jimmy Kimmel
Kate McKinnon
as Kate McKinnon
Bobby Moynihan
as Bobby Moynihan
Taran Killam
as Taran Killam
Sebastian Arcelus
as Dr. Ed Danzer
Jay Patterson
as Karl Jackson
Steve Callaghan
as Comic
Nana Visitor
as Adoption Agent
Maggie Geha
as Female Nurse
Jessica Szohr
as Allison
Craig Ricci Shaynak
as Blind Guy
Lexi Atkins
as Waitress
Jack Knight
as Todd Kidder
Lauren Sánchez
as Boston Newscaster
William Xifaras
as Boston Neighbor
Curtis Stigers
as Wedding Singer
Julius Sharpe
as NYC Doctor
Liz Morgan
as NYC Nurse
Alec Sulkin
as Obi-Wan
Ralph Garman
as Stormtrooper
Michael Steven Costello
as Jury Foreman
J. Mark Donaldson
as Juror
Frank Lloyd
Bart A. Piscitello Jr.
as Bailiff
Becki Dennis
as Receptionist
Robert Holfelder
as Band Leader
Michael Trisler
as Cyclist
Ryan Hanna
as Jogger
Kate Gustafson
as Hasbro CEO Assistant
David Goldman
as Pundit
Ted Jessup
Ronobir Lahiri
Barry Ratcliffe
Chris Regan
Nefetari Spencer
Jeffrey Stubblefield
Wellesley Wild
Lenny Clarke
as Cop (Boston PD)
Chris Neville
Rachael MacFarlane
as Meighan Assistant
Christy Scott Cashman
as Reporter
Joseph J. Micucci
as Nerd (Wedgie)
Josiah Blount
as Comic Con Fan
Johnny Alves
as Security Guard
Silvio Cuadra
Dustin Ybarra
as Borg
Matthew J. Walters
as Hellboy
Aaron Zell
as Vendor
Scott Wahle
as Film Executive
John Viener
as Police Dispatcher
Kate B. O'Brien
as Diner Waitress
Billy Concha
as Bachelor Party Guest
Andrew Torres
as Jump Rope Guy
Luke Adams
as Wedding Announcer
Tara Strong
as Ted Toy (voice)
Tiffany
as Tiffany
Brittany O'Connor
as Cake Girl (uncredited)
Julie Schmid
as Piano / Ginger Girl (uncredited)
Rose Wakesho
as Comic Con Attendee (uncredited)
Katie McCabe
as Hot Comic Con Girl (uncredited)
Stanis Krista Ames
as Courthouse Spectator (uncredited)
Claudia Zielke
as Baroness Girl (uncredited)
Alexandra Creteau
as Wedding Guest (uncredited)
Vincent M. Biscione
as Ted's Court Gallery (uncredited)
Kt Baldassaro
Laura-Elise Barrett
as Booth Girl (uncredited)
Anissa Borrego
as Flash Girl (uncredited)
Roseny Carrero
as My Little Pony Booth Girl (uncredited)
John Franchi
as Bar Patron (uncredited)
Chia Chen
Lexie Contursi
Chassidy Cox
Nea Dune
Diana Emuge
Michelle Fonseca
as Courtroom Observer (uncredited)
Enku Gubaie
London Hall
as Reporter (uncredited)
Isabel Wagner
Sandra Yap
Isabella Sanchez
as Comic Con Booth Girl (uncredited)
Sagan Rose
as Ginger Girl (uncredited)
Elizabeth Pollard
as Fairy at Comic Con (uncredited)
Tina Grimm
Kim Mulhauser
Olivia McCarthy
Sophie Mazzaro
as Fox Booth Girl (uncredited)
Anna Maiche
as Kissing Couple (uncredited)
Kandiss Lewis
as Scat Pack Girl #2 (uncredited)
Toi'ya Leatherwood
Christopher Weigel
as Well Wisher (uncredited)
Zola Williams
as Dancer (uncredited)
Noelle Trudeau
Lance Norris
Susan Garfield
as Woman at Diner (uncredited)
Dustin Christenson
as Attendee (uncredited)
Christopher Ferguson
Electrician
Scott Stuber
Producer
Director
John Jacobs
Jason Clark
Joe Bucaro III
Stunts
Jarrod Anderson
Technical Supervisor
Andy Hass
Animation
Mike Safianoff
Jenny Fulle
Visual Effects Producer
Danny Southard
Seung Hoo Ihm
Nick Fredin
Michael Parks
Michael Bomagat
Chuck Duke
Jonathan Macintosh
Melissa Jimenez Ramirez
Special Effects
John Ruggieri
Special Effects Coordinator
Diana Roche
Herve Desroches
Jay Cail Stone
Sue Houston Safianoff
J.D. Schwalm
Thomas Carroll
David W. Dale
Driver
Frederick B. Vega
Bryan Felty
Art Direction
Alexa Hale
Sheila Jaffe
Casting
Jeff Freeman
Editor
David Kenney
Nico Woulard
Rick McMahon
Visual Effects
Stephen J. Lineweaver
Production Design
Mark Powers
Ashlen Aquila
Howard R. Campbell
Lighting Technician
Jason Chu
Amy Lu
Nicholas Tripodi
David Ward
Steve Kelso
Stunt Double
Writer
Jeremy Fry
Stunt Driver
Michael Barrett
Director of Photography
Walter Murphy
Original Music Composer
Stan Jones
Music Editor
Moira Marquis
Scott Rogers
Stunt Coordinator
Brian Smyj
Todd Sheidenberger
Orchestrator
Justin M. Lubin
Still Photographer
Kelly Cronin
Script Supervisor
David Brownlow
Production Sound Mixer
Kris Giacomazzi
Mickey Giacomazzi
Laura Anderson
Animation Director
Christopher Walsh
Jimmy Almeida
Jessie Graff
Jason Madigan
Compositor
Michael Queen
Chris Crowell
David Edwards
Lionel Heath
Robin Hollander
Associate Producer
Characters
Cindy Evans
Costume Design
Eric Heffron
Co-Producer
Peter Borck
Supervising Art Director
Kyra Friedman Curcio
Set Decoration
Executive Producer
Mark Kamine
Caty Maxey
Todd Harris
Storyboard Artist
Allison Caetano
Debbie Evans
Heidi Moneymaker
Daniel W. Barringer
Daniel Macarin
CG Supervisor